all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
