We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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