You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
