Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize