Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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