he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
