made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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