my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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