Your tits are I can't wait for
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
