i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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