i was born a porn star she said
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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