well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
