I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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