just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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