My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
