i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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