I cockslap morals
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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