I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My day in three words: secret purse cake
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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