Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
