I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
