We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
