you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
