Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
