She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex on a dog bed..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
