This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
