someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize