woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
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His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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