apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
