I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
