im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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