So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
