Are we in a gay sports bar?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
