Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
