she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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