You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
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i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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