how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
