I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
