You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
