this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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