Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
