So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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