K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
They took my balls.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
