is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
only you would photoshop your dick
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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