So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
