well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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