she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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