Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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