U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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