Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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