hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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