the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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