There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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