I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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