i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
