I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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