Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
