There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
