So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
