is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
