Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
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