Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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